Letter of Comfort
Copyright 1997-2002 by OldTom, all rights reserved.

There was no way to prepare her for that moment when she found out how much a real spanking hurts. There was nothing to do but comfort her afterwards, try to show her the bigger picture, remind her of how desperately she wanted the relationship.

He wrote her a letter, and she requested it be made public, thinking others might encounter the same situation. The letter was actually the first of the several stories he wrote about her.

The letter presented a vision of what he hoped her relationship would become. Even though the letter was the beginning, he placed the letter toward the end of their story collection, so that the story Choices could then show how completely the vision became fulfilled.

I am happy for you, my friend.

Yes, your bottom hurts beyond belief. You got what you have longed for, and the reality is very difficult to live with, just now. It seems to me that every woman in your situation behaves the same way, and every woman is surprised that this is considered such normal behavior.

You had to push him, to test him, to prove that he is strong enough for you. Every woman must do this, to prove that she is safe. But you thought surely this was a one-time deal, that this man you have known and loved for years, couldn't really be all that you wished for. So you pushed him again. He warned you, and stated as clearly and precisely as before, what would happen. And it did - after all, you had to prove that he would follow through.

No woman could respect a husband who backed down from her, failed to follow through on such a promise. But you completely respect him now, don't you? It hurts, O how it hurts, but down inside you are happy.

As I am happy for you, my friend.

But why, my friend, did you think you could outlast him? Why did you continue to ask for it, just to show him his new-found methods wouldn't really work? Why did you think he would just go back to the way it was?

That wasn't the real reason, you know. Even when you knew what was coming, you pushed him harder. You just didn't really believe, deep down inside, that he was for real. And surely, after two very serious spankings in two days, he would allow for your bottom being so badly damaged. And now you know, as every such woman must learn for herself, that the soreness of your bottom makes absolutely no difference. You earned it; you pay in full. You learned that if your bottom is already unbearably sore, there is no one to blame but yourself. It's simply not a relevant consideration.

And now, my friend, you understand. The lesson was the most difficult of your life. You have never had limits imposed upon you before. Perhaps if you had, at age six or sixteen, or even twenty-six or thirty-six, you would not be in such pain right now. But you had to learn the hard way, and be absolutely sure. And now you are absolutely sure.

I am happy for you, my friend.

The good news is, you only have to face this particular lesson once in your lifetime. Now you understand, and now you respect your husband. Now you can believe, without any nagging doubts, that he means what he says.

Will you test him again? Of course you will. But not for a long while. There is no need, because you have proven to yourself that you are secure. But when you begin to doubt, you will test him again. And you will wonder why, O why did you ever doubt him. Such, I believe, is the nature of a submissive woman.

Yes, my friend, you got spanked. And it still hurts, fiercely, this many days later. You can't see what this means, except for wondering if your bottom will ever again feel free from pain. You know that you are doing your best to please your husband, and you are learning to obey.

But is that all that is happening here? Not on your life. I have been watching, and I have been thinking about the new world that is opening up for you, and I have begun to realize that you might not actually see the wondrousness of what is in store.

I am writing this letter to explain why I am so happy for you, my friend.

Perhaps it feels like you're being turned into a puppet, being treated like a child. Dominated. Like a German Shepherd who doesn't like obedience school. But think about why you longed for this, and you will see this has nothing whatever to do with becoming a puppet.

My friend, you've had a tough life. You have never had it easy; you have always had to build your own life for yourself. You've had terrible failures, and you have come through a wonderful person. You are a priceless treasure. I truly mean that, my friend. And now... you don't have to go it alone anymore. Have you really thought about what that means for you? Of course you have - this is what you longed for, without even suspecting the dream was within your grasp all along.

Nor should you feel badly for missing it until now. Until now, you probably were not ready for the new world you have before you. You might not have been strong enough to enter, until the wounds of your past had healed into honorable scars.

The great paradox is your tremendous inner strength. That strength allows you to enter, while at the same time keeping you from entry. For you are strong enough to resist indefinitely... or so you might think. Do you really want to find out how long you can hold off? I hope, for your own sake, you choose to hold that lesson off for a later time. Strong as you are, your self esteem can only take so much humbling at one time. There is already much that will take getting used to.

You begin to see the world before you, but you are afraid of the cost of entry. Yet you arranged that you will have no choice. Will you enter of your own will, or be carried with a glare, or a pout, on your face? I believe the world will be that much sweeter and brighter if you walk forward to meet it, of your own free will.

My friend, what you've had the past few years has been very, very good. But don't let the very good keep you from the very best. Please.

Do you really see the new world that is now waiting for you? Perhaps all you see just now is pain, and enforced obedience. But this will pass; all you're doing is paying the price of entry. A high price indeed, for an indescribably wonderful reward. Can you imagine being able to be completely open, completely naked, completely free, with the man who so thoroughly loves you? Can you imagine your husband being completely free to show you what your marriage can be, without fear of remonstrance, second-guessing, worrying what the other will think? Imagine a frictionless run towards a deeper intimacy than you can now even imagine.

Yes, I am happy for you, my friend.

I doubt your husband fully comprehends either. It will be your privilege to show him what you have in store for him, as you two come closer and closer. Your husband will come to appreciate you in ways he never thought possible. But I hope you understand this to be speculation, a description of a vision. I would never presume to speak for your husband. Nevertheless, that of which I speak, is real.

My friend, you are a woman. Endlessly complex, with endless stores of mystery. When you're good, you're very good - and you know that. I wonder if your husband has any idea, yet, of what such a woman will be like just after he has gently spanked her to orgasm, twice? You will know in your deepest being by then, that your vulnerability and your pleasure are wrapped up in the gentlest of spankings, and that your obedience and submission are correspondingly trapped in the fiercest of your for-real spankings. Yes, you have much wonder still to discover.

I believe that a woman who submits herself to a man unworthy of her submission, degrades herself; a woman who submits herself to a man worthy of that submission, enhances herself. I truly believe this. You won't be losing or throwing away any of your strength, my friend. You will be adding your husband's strength to that of your own. As your husband will be adding your strength to his. Your husband will partake of you without asking, as if it were his right. Your submission, voluntary or not, has strengthened him. If you watch for it, you will begin to see that increased strength in all areas of his life, and as his wife, you will benefit.

The day will come when one of your greatest joys is in pleasing him. You will cook dinner not because you were told to, but rather you will cook to please him, and take uninhibited joy in his pleasure. You will be glad of your accountability, because it arises from the nature of your relationship. He cares for you, pays attention to you, takes responsibility for every aspect of your well-being.

In fact, you will become so greatly cherished by him, that you might try wrapping him back around your little finger. Please don't ever forget that first day of your return, when you knew he was that glad to see you. Should you ever try that one again, he'll know that you know better, and set you straight that much more firmly. Knowing you, my friend, you will eventually try it. I'll point out that I too warned you, and you'll glare at me too.

And I will remain happy for you, my friend.

Can you imagine how this will affect you sexually? I expect the day will come, as with other women we know of, that you get hot just hearing your husband's name spoken. The day will come, I believe, when your surroundings become meaningless when your husband is in the room. Your husband, and your relationship to him, will be your focus.

Some day, I hope, you will finally choose to give yourself to him with nothing else held back. When you drop that last reserve, and declare yourself fully his, (rumor has it that) you will experience explosive orgasms like you can't currently comprehend. Perhaps you won't ever take that step... but if you do, I believe you will be stunned in wonder at the result. For now, this is probably too scary a thing to contemplate. But once you've chosen to enter the world
before you, you won't have to worry about these kinds of fears anymore.

In fact, I believe some day you will look on turning back, and physically shudder in the same way that weeks ago you shuddered over the mere thought of giving up control. Some day you will realize that you would not give up your new world for anything. When that day comes, I hope you will remember this letter, and thank your husband - in words - for completely removing the possibility of turning back.

I hope you realize that your husband is risking everything he holds dear, to open up that world for you. Yes, he knows what he is doing, and he is confident, and you insisted on proving him adequate to the task. And he became stronger by the proof.

But that doesn't change the fact that he risked everything he holds dear. He no doubt considered it a fairly small risk, because of his unexpectedly deep understanding of yourself, and confidence in his ability to control the situation. But it was a risk, and the risk was of that which he cherishes the most.

I hope you come to appreciate what he has done for you. Do you remember how you didn't really believe that your husband would even say okay, and try it, and eventually understand? How could he know of, or even understand if you told him, your longing to come home after a long day, and be totally seduced by a man who is strong, independent, and not intimidated by you? Do you remember speaking those very words?

Do you remember how you said you wanted to be taken out of control, after being in control for the last twelve hours of your day? And you thought maybe if a man were strong enough he could control the scene without tying you for the spanking.

And now you know. Your husband understands you, and he is well able to control the scene without ties, isn't he?

He never saw the newsgroup; he only saw you. He caught on pretty quickly, didn't he? But do you see that in going from nothing to everything, that he risked everything, and gave you... everything. With, of course, a man-sized dose of humility - but you'll get over it; every woman in your situation does, and every woman in your situation knows that she did in fact ask for it. I hope you appreciate what he has become for you.

I am happy for you, my friend.

And how much your bottom hurts... I don't think I actually comprehend that. How can you even function? The toughness of a woman is incredible, probably beyond a man's comprehension. She goes on because she has to. It's that simple. But how you feel - I do understand that I can't possibly understand.

I hope you can picture the day when your bottom finally gets a full week's rest, and the urgent fierceness of the pain finally, just slightly, begins to fade. Then you can begin to enjoy the fun spankings, reaching a level of pure pleasure that you have only glimpsed. For you are one of us, and enjoy spankings like nobody in the outside world can possibly begin to comprehend. You will know that you can be spanked as often, and as pleasantly, as you care to be, for the rest of your life.

My friend, I hope you gain a brighter picture of the world before you, of uninhibited sensuality, of love, of closeness, of intimacy, of pleasure. The question is, are you willing to capitulate, and grasp what is yours to have? Who would have thought such a mundane task as you were told to perform, would give you a taste of this? You had unexpected fun... and that only happened because your husband forced you. You saw the joy in his eyes. If you thought of yourself as a 19-year-old just starting your life with your new husband, you would not be far off - for you are just starting your life with your new husband.

Yes, it is hard, very hard, to leave the old self behind. But you must; your old self will do nothing but drag you down, keep you from the pleasures before you. And to see, and suddenly hear countless times a day, how much he cherishes you... think back to your earlier years. Wouldn't you have gladly endured a desperately sore bottom to hear that for one single day, knowing it to be literally true?

Yes, you are smarting from some very serious discipline. You have been humbled. The fact that you deserved every single stroke, and brought on the extra severity all by yourself, just makes it worse. I sincerely hope that you will take that final step, and fully submit yourself to his will. Discussing, yes, but no arguing, no second-guessing, no rebelling, no glaring or pouting. Nothing but complete trust in your husband, trusting him to see the bigger picture, acting entirely in your best interests. Can you perhaps begin to see how he is serving you, even while he is mandating your obedience? It will take time, but once you can move past the current soreness, you will be able to begin to appreciate all that he is doing, and becoming, for you.

I am happy for you, my friend.

I would implore you to begin a journal, or a diary, or a story. Begin with how you began to share your hidden desires. Write down everything that happened, how you felt, what you learned. Describe the change. For you have already changed - perhaps more than you realize.

I suggest this for many reasons, but most of all for yourself, my friend. When you are fully settled in your new world, you may have a hard time remembering what you went through to get there. Painful experiences, in particular, are difficult to remember. Also, writing things down will help you sort things out in your own mind. These writings can be a gift to your husband. A gift of yourself for him to cherish. In fact, I would suggest you tell him what you are trying to do; I think he would be pleased. Which means he would grant you the time and space for this project. Perhaps he would even consider writing something himself. Don't think only in terms of typing at your computer; think of a literal journal. Get a hardbound something that you can write in during your spare moments. You have an awful lot to write already, and it would be best to get that down quickly. You can type it up later if you wish.

Another reason is to have something to share with people of like mind, who can understand, empathize, and take joy in your sharing. You just don't know how blessed you are, to have found what you found, in your own husband. Even though it still hurts so fiercely, because you had to prove him to be for real.

Since this is just the beginning, it would be well to write it down before your memories become overlaid with new levels of understanding. I don't mean to say that the spankings will get worse. They will, but not until you force the issue. No, I mean that you're coming through a one-time deal. There's no turning back, and no need to start over. Unless, of course, you force the need.

Write a journal, lest you forget where you came from. My friend, you are the treasure beyond price, and with your bottom hurting so fiercely, there is no way for you to appreciate that. But share yourself in writing, and share that gift with your husband, and he will be able to treasure you even more.

And in the not-so-distant future, when your spankings are only for your pleasure, you'll look back to this time in your life, and appreciate a nice spanking for the privilege it has become. I truly believe this for you.

I am unspeakably happy for you, my friend. I wish you well.

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