Alert

"Alert! Alert! Possible dangerous shorts out there!"

"What the hell? Calm down, start over, and give me the story."

"Sir, we seem to be having a series of shorts. We had three minor ones last week, but now it's serious. Flames and everything. Can't you smell the stench?"

"No. I was completely unaware there was a problem. Is it really that bad?"

"I've calmed down now, sir. Perhaps it's not that bad."

"What, exactly, happened?"

"Well, sir..."

"I see. You have my full attention. Go on."

"Well, sir... I was changing a filter in the bot, and I heard this crackling. You know, like an electrical short. It scared me, sir, and perhaps I overreacted."

"That's all? You said something about flames."

"Well... I guess I must have backed into the feed cable. It started sparking, and I smelled smoke. It HURTS, sir!"

"Let me get this straight. Are you telling me you burned your butt on the bot?"

"Umm... yes sir."

"And what about the shorts?"

"Scorched, sir. Ruined."

"I mean, what is the electrical situation."

"How the hell would I know, sir. It's been a problem ever since Miss Steak passed through."

"Oh, really. Shall we teach her a lesson?"

"Yes please, sir!"

"Are you up for scaring her?"

"Yes! Definitely!"

"All right. Here's what we'll do. We'll give you a serious beating. And then you tell her all about it. That should scare her pretty badly."

"That should do it, sir. But what if she doesn't believe the story?"

"Just get her to post it. If it's posted, somebody will believe it. And the feeding frenzy will begin."

"Brilliant, sir. An induced troll. Delightfully sadistic."

"Whenever you're ready, then."

"I'm ready, sir. This should be fun. Once I recover, I mean."

"Shall we use the barbed wire, the towing chain, or the wire brush?"

"The chain, I think. Heavy metal makes me hot, and the tow chain has a nice thud. But could you use it doubled over this time? I hate it when the hook sticks."