by Old Tom, of old-tom.com
If you're so inclined, there doesn't really seem to be a limit in pushing limits. There are ways to push you deeper, and for longer. I have heard - but don't know this from personal experience - that marking becomes less of a problem over time. I don't know if this is a good thing or not...
Keep experimenting. Are there ways to get you to where you want to be? You have a wide range of experience, and experiences. Are there other techniques which may help? Physical techniques such as singletail or bullwhip? (Which like the cane require training.) Mental/emotional/headspace techniques? Changeup/change of pace?
Is there more to be done with the cane? Has he gone vertical? When you're in the zone, are you ready for a stroke laid flat along the inside of the thigh, all the way up? And I mean the tip reaching ALL the way up? That type of thing has been known to bring a gusher, if you'll pardon the directness, and tends to be easily remembered the next day.
This is what I call "pure" S/M. In my experience, even having this discussion is abhorrent to what I call "pure" spankos. (In the same way, a lot of "pure spanko" discussions seem rather pointless to me. Both are valid expressions of our kink; but one makes sense to me and the other does not.)
The key to "pure" S/M - I call it painplay - is that it has to be *okay*. If it's not "okay" to enjoy it, in your own mind, it just isn't going to work. When it becomes *okay* to feel, explore, experience, you'll find there really is no limit. Other than the very real limits of keeping things sane, consensual, and safe.
When it becomes *okay* to enjoy painplay, it's no longer a matter of things being done *to* you. It's a cooperative experience being shared together. It becomes *okay* to say that you want such-and-such a painful thing done to you. Because it's not pain; it's part of the experience. It's an experience **you are sharing together**.
The endorphin high you describe is quite real. It can last for hours or days even. Also be aware that there can be a very significant crash at the end. Aftercare is critical! Do a search in the archives for subspace or endorphin float, and there should be more material to read, from the people here.
In my personal experience, I can bring about the floating - or push someone into subspace - more quickly with the cane than with anything else. Others skilled with whips or floggers will report the same with whips or floggers. (Floggers work well for those not inclined to heavier painplay.)
When I'm pushing for a subspace trip, I use the cane. Why? Because the cane can't be ignored. You *must* submit to it - or bail out of the scene. The cane stroke is (or can be) too overwhelming.
Thus I use it as a tool to overwhelm, pushing you deeper into subspace step by step. The pain itself (even though not interpreted as such) kicks in the endorphins, and brings the float. You're aware of every stroke. But you're merely accepting, experiencing.
When I do a caning scene, I feel there are *two* requirements of equal weight. One is skill with the canes themselves. Absolute accuracy, knowing what is safe and what is not, and so on. The other is skill in conducting the scene, handling the partnership.
I do look on a caning scene as a partnership venture. It's not something I am doing *to* her. I am taking her *through* an experience. The cane itself is simply a tool I use to get her there. My known skill with the cane, and skill in handling the scene, allows her to let go, and be taken.
Incidentally, he who is conducting the scene needs to be aware that you *are* in an altered state. You need to be watched and cared for while you're tripping. And protected from crashing. By the by, it's quite possible for *him* to be tripping as well. It's a different kind of tripping, but it's still an endorphin high. He needs to be aware of being in an altered state, and watch himself accordingly.
As for the vertical stroke, I didn't necessarily mean full force. I meant laying the stroke the full length of the upper leg, flat. If he can be accurate and exploratory with the tip, so much the better. The fact that you can **watch** the whole thing, knowing the crucial importance of not flinching, is a definite bonus.
The frightening visual is a large part of what erotic painplay is all about.
Ever notice the billboard ads for the theme parks? A lot of them focus on how scary the rollercoaster (or whatever) is. The adrenaline rush is part of what makes it exciting.
Of course I *do* enjoy dropping ideas on the board from time to time. You have such nice reactions!
Actually, you bring up a good point. Unless you're seeing things firsthand, it's very difficult to distinguish between actual experience and wishful thinking. It's very easy to get caught up in the biases of those who have no idea of what they're actually talking about.
And, I do try to describe things so that you can picture them. Such as going vertical with a really flexible cane, so that the tip wraps around to the front
This is part of my technique for pushing limits. Lay out some possibilities - visuals, if you will - which are both frightening and intriguing. Leave plenty of time, without any pressure, to let the thought take hold. If the interest is there, the thought will take care of itself. As you see
To be sure, cane welts on sensitive areas will be noticed the next day. That, I should think, would be the point of having a cane welt.
When you're sufficiently deep into subspace, and *know* that you are safe, an overwhelming stroke will (or should) simply push you deeper. There's nothing else like it on the planet. Remember too, though, that a missed stroke can bring you out with a crash. This can manifest as hysteria, panic, or you may just deck him. You're now dealing with a combination of trauma and shock; follow your First Aid guidelines accordingly.
I'm not kidding - play at this level is quite serious. And quite rewarding, assuming you're so inclined. Safety procedures dare not be ignored.
I recall one occasion (upstairs at the Leather Rose dungeon in Chicago) where the spankee took note of the fact that I was now in the room. The spanker offered to turn the spankee over to me. The spankee replied, "NO! I *know* what *he* can do!"
The spankee was high on endorphins, and perhaps should be forgiven this stupidity. This particular spanker, you see, was the person who originally taught me to use the cane fairly well.
At any rate, the spanker took it personal.
It soon became screamingly clear that it was not me, on the sidelines, whom the spankee needed to worry about. That is the only time I have ever seen a spankee jump up and do two complete circles around the room as a spanking dance. That was brilliant!
The whole room (with the one obvious exception) was laughing. :-)