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Tuesday, April 8th, 2003
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6:11 pm - The Power of Silence
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Silence is a given for me, being I am deaf.
However,
it's also given me the ability to learn to communicate without needing words,
something I have had many partners compliment me on. Finding someone that
also has that skill is wondrous.
I have one person I play with, he
canes me, and our entire scenes are usually done silently...there is no need
for him to speak to me or I to him, we communicate amazingly through small
gestures and watching each others body language even though we do not play
often. He can be sitting across the room and I just look at him intently,
without taking my gaze away when he meets it...and he knows what I want,
and the canes come out. He doesn't need to stop and ask me how I'm doing;
a hand on my back will get a small, barely noticeable nod from me, and he
knows I'm all right to continue. If the hand doesn't move, I know he needs
me to look at him so he can gauge where I am by my expression. If it gets
to be too much, he's realized that the slight tense lift of my palm or the
length of time that my leg lingers bent up into the air rather than remaining
in position after a particularly painful stroke, means that I am nearing
my limits.
When he switches canes, he will slip the end into my palm
so I know what he is doing...but if I am too far into subspace, he can tell
by how badly I'm shaking, and he will just slowly settle the cane into his
target and continue. He will hold 3 fingers up in my line of sight, and I
know he is telling me that there are 3 strokes left, and they will be the
hardest, but then we are done. We've never talked about these things, they
are just there and we both understand them. There is no relationship between
us other than occasional play partners and friends, and it's so simple. It's
very powerful for me.
With another person I play with, and this person
being someone I am very close to and means a lot to me, I have also experienced
this level of communication. It was fleeting, unexpected, but just as powerful...and
something I just know will be a part of our play again. It makes me shiver
to think of it. It's very alluring. Very fascinating. Very erotic. As
much as I loved the actions in the scene we had...it was that sharing of
silent communication that made me shiver and smile. She left an impression
on me without saying a word.
I look for this often in others..it tells
me a lot about a person. I often find myself thinking that people depend
on words too much and don't pay enough attention to the silent details. The
words only say so much...it is the actions that go with them that give them
the meaning, and the ability to communicate your wants and needs and intentions
without speaking so much of a single word, is a sign of strength and security
in the relationship, no matter what the nature of that relationship is.
Silent
communication is one of the most powerful things I've ever experienced. It's
actually more of a rarity than I ever thought it would be.
current mood:  content
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